Let me tell you a story. It is, in some ways, a story of bravery. It is also in many ways a story of tragedy, of pointless and irrevocable loss. And above all else, it is a story of hair. My hair, to be more precise and still a little vague. :)
It all started, more or less, Friday. I mean, it really had started long before that, because I’ve had hair for quite some time now. As long as I can remember, really, and likely even longer than that. I have thick, dark, curly, generally unmanageable hair. Which meant, once I’d gathered the strength and endurance to grow it out long, it stayed thick, dark, curly and unmanageable, but all of that somehow worked together to look pretty damn good grown out (if I do say so myself (and I do)).
But anyway, back to Friday. I made a decision Friday. I decided that I needed a haircut. Well, I guess I made that decision quite a while before Friday. I’d really been thinking it since before our camping trip last week, as well. I even mentioned it to a few people, such as my mom, in hopes that she might cut it for me. She’s trained in all those fancy-schmancy hair-cutting arts, you know.
But anyway! Friday, I decided that I was going to get it cut that weekend, and that I wasn’t going to bother my mom about it. She hasn’t been feeling the best lately, and I didn’t see any reason to make her stand on her feet for any longer than her job made necessary, so I decided to bite the bullet and pay for a trim.
Next time, I’ll know to check for live munitions before I bite down. :)
A trim is really all I needed. My hair had grown a bit too long for my tastes as of late, as you can see in this picture here, taken on the trip home from visiting M’ris:
Hair-Raising I (Click for New Window)
Although you can’t see it in that picture, I was starting to get a halo effect from all the smaller hairs floating about my head, which didn’t look particularly nice. And, as you CAN see, my hair was past my shoulders, so it was starting to feel like a nuisance. I could new and interesting things with it, like lean against a wall and pin my head to the wall with my hair, or get hair in my mouth when I was taking a shower.
So, I went through all the old images I had of myself, looking for a length of hair that I’d particularly liked. I settled on the length seen here, taken at the very end of April (as part of a mirror project submission):
Hair-Raising II (Click for New Window)
At that lengh, my hair looked nice, took care of itself, and didn’t get in my way. It was perfect. So, I printed off that very same image and took it with me to Great Clips. I figured, it couldn’t get any easier than I was making it for the stylist: I wasn’t asking her to make me look like some random movie or music star, I was asking her to make me look like me.
“This is me,” I said, holding the picture up to the hair stylist (if that ~is~ her real title). “This is what I looked like a couple of months ago. I want to look like me again. A couple of inches is all it should take.” She nodded her head.
Silly me, I assumed she was nodding her head in understanding. Now, of course, I understand that she was nodding to the quiet little voices inside her head. You know the ones. They’re the ones who say things like, “Your mother never loved you when you were little,” or “They’re all laughing at you! Are you really just going to stand there with that crowbar and take it from them?,” or “Burn them! Burn them all!” You know the voices, right?
Anyway. She wasn’t nodding in understanding. No way. Couldn’t have been. Because, take a look first at the picture I gave her (the one above), and then, if you’re brave, or if your eyes have already wandered too far, take a look at this picture here:
Hair-Raising III (Click for New Window)
This is what she did to me based on my instructions. Compare the two. Aside from the glasses and the perpetual shadow of facial hair, do you see much in common between the two? Maybe I should have taken off my glasses when she was cutting my hair, to force her to try harder for a match. I asked for two inches off. She took closer to six.
I was a little bit devastated. I’d never understood girls before when they got emotional over haircuts. It’s just hair, right? Of course, I’d never before lost six inches of hair, which had taken me six months to grow, at once. It’s frighteningly traumatic. And also a tad dangerous. When I got out of the shower for the first time (washing the tiny shorn hairs out of the slightly longer hairs, you know), I nearly sprained my neck trying to flick several pounds of wet hair out of my face that wasn’t there anymore. The motion, it seems, had become automatic. :)
What was I to do? My hair was gone! So, I did the only thing I could think of (with a little help from Megan): I made what little hair I had left a bit more interesting to look at.
I’ve only dyed my hair once before this, and that was during some autumn or another when I dyed my hair a few shades darker to compensate for the bleaching the sun had given it the summer before. This time, I decided to go lighter. Quite a bit lighter, actually.
Hair-Raising IV (Click for New Window)
As you can see, Megan and I took a bottle of blond dye (the good, strong stuff), and bleached sections of my hair an interesting shade of blond. No, I don’t like it nearly as much as I liked my hair 48 hours ago. If I had the choice, I’d have my old hair back. But I don’t have that choice, so I might as well have a bit of fun with what hair I’ve got.
Comments? *grin*
Responses to “A Hair-Raising Tale”
July 22nd, 2003 at 6:46 pm
*typing from floor - rofl - and I can’t get up*
No matter what - do not let another living soul touch your hair. (or dead ones either) And when I do anything to your hair in the future (and I am a mother will always take care of her children)(and her Mom - because when I don’t do it - Granpa gets a turn)and anyways, when I do touch your hair in the future for ANY reason; I will expect to hear the words, “Great job, Mom! You are a very talented genius!”
July 22nd, 2003 at 7:00 pm
And it is true about Great Clips stylists.
Great Clips won’t even try to recruite top of their class stylists. They don’t pay well enough to get the top of the class or middle of the class. They get the “partied all through, lost the friends I used as my models because I ruined their hair, barely got by the school finals, and can you believe I passed the state boards?, and my highest score was my appearance. (But then they also have the ‘top of the class’ peers prepare their appearance for the state boards)
For the record: I obtain the first anatomy final “A” ever earned in the history of the school, place 3rd in the Midwest for a new hair cut and color of my own design (which I also was the model for) and was always on the President’s List.
July 22nd, 2003 at 8:40 pm
I like your haircut, nice to see a very good looking man underneath all that hair.
July 22nd, 2003 at 8:46 pm
I go to Great Clips because they have open hours and I don’t have to pay $30 for a $5 haircut, I only have to pay $15…besides, Rob looked like a hippie before.
July 22nd, 2003 at 9:08 pm
Eric, nobody is ever going to take hair style and/or stylist recommendations from a kid best remembered for his hot pink mo-hawk.
(And for the record, I may have been an advisor, but Rob was pretty much the artist)
July 22nd, 2003 at 9:17 pm
true hair school story
A women who had just been cut and styled by an amatuer student stylist. When she got to the front desk to pay - she refused. She said the girl did an awful job and she was not happy with her altered appearance. She wanted this to be free and wanted the trip back to ‘fix’ it to be free as well.
Our instructor looked her up and down and told her, “I don’t know what you think you wanted, but, you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear!”
The lady left in a huff. And, unfortunetly, our insructor was fired for the comment. We will always speak fondly of her.
July 22nd, 2003 at 9:59 pm
You still look like enough of a writer. Don’t ask me what that means, though. I did like the shagness, but I think you’ve yet to find your hair’s True Self. So many possibilities, though! :)
July 23rd, 2003 at 7:38 am
Hey now… this comment forum is not about my hair nor its color; it’s about the uhm…err… I forget, but I know it didn’t start out being about me. ;p
July 23rd, 2003 at 8:49 am
Rob’s Mom, you rock.
Rob’s Grandma, you sound like My Grandma (but My Grandma rocks, too, so it’s okay).
What’s wrong with looking like a hippie before? Hmmmmm?
Mark is putting the final touches on his PhD, and when my aunt’s sister-in-law found out, she said, “Oh, wonderful! Is he going to cut his hair?” Um, huh? Where did that come from?
July 23rd, 2003 at 1:39 pm
*giggles* I think Eric has a fear of hippies…..he talks about everyone being one and all…..or maybe Eric is a hippie himself *ponders*

July 22nd, 2003 at 11:25 am
they ALWAYS do it wrong when you give them a picture. Of course, thats only because you’re supposed to mentally relay what you want to look like. NEVER go to Great Clips….according to mom the beauty school dropouts *no joke intended* work there. Never go to an asian lady either…..always stick with educated, english speaking hair stylists. Then you’ll always look pretty, oh so pretty *grin*