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Update:

I may have a runner-up for my last update’s moment of duh. I just got back from my friend Mark’s house. On the way to Mark’s house, I am required to make one left turn. I made it. At a red light. Directly in front of the police station.

By the grace of someone holier than I, none of the six police cars sitting out front were occupied. It still doubled my blood pressure, though.