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So I was hungry, it being lunchtime and all, and I headed up to the vending machine to get myself a bagel. Yes, our vending machine has bagels. Calm yourself. Sliced bagels, even, which I guess trumps the whole ’sliced bread’ thing quite nicely regardless of what you think of our alternative vending lifestyle.

Anyways, I get to the vending machine, and they’re all out of bagels. Well, they had raisin bagels, but for whatever reason those don’t count in my mind. So we’ll say they were out. Again. I had this exact same problem yesterday.

But I’m hungry. I’m not leaving the vending machine empty handed. So I give up and buy myself a nice veggie burger instead. Yeah, we got veggie burgers in our vending machines, too. Now if you don’t sit down and be quiet, I’m going to turn this story around, I swear.

When did this happen? When did I become the sort of person that, first of all, consumes bagels (without the cream cheese… that stuff goes straight to your hips you know) as a well-rounded meal, and second of all, considers veggie burgers an acceptable substitute? Sure, Megan and I had veggie burgers every once in a while when we were living together, but I always thought I was just humoring her. I guess the joke is on me, no? The cow I didn’t eat is spinning in the grave it didn’t need right now. And I’m pretty sure Eric might disown me. He’s a meat-and-potatoes sorta guy who sees the potato part as superfluous. Or at least, he used to be. I dunno if his stomach still accepts carcasses (dead carcasses, at that) as readily.