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I don’t remember any of my dreams from last night, though I did wake up at 2am with two completely dead arms. I hate waking up with both my arms asleep. I hate standing up (with no help from my arms, thankyouverrahmuch (yeah, I know, you probably stand with your legs, too)) and watching them flop violently at the elbows without my muscles to slow them down. I’m always afraid I’m going to break an arm that way. Eventually I realized my arms were numb because I’d fallen asleep with a shirt on, and all my twisting and turning before dozing off had wrapped the shirt so tightly around my chest and shoulders that no blood was getting through. So I went back to bed slightly less clothed than I had previously.

My first thought upon (officially) waking this morning? “Barking up the wrong tree. Oh, bark! Bark on trees. I get it.” I’d never gotten that before. Who knew you could live 23 years of your life without ever catching something like that?

I also learned what inculcate meant this morning, but I don’t feel too bad about not knowing that one. I despise academic writers. I swear, they spend more time scouring thesauri for obscure words than they do writing the damn essays in the first place. “Teach? Psh! Indoctrinate? Too many people know what that means. If I use it, they might not think I’m smart! Then the dean might take my lunch money at recess.”

Hmm… hate and despise. Don’t get the wrong idea, folks. I’m in a decent mood this morning.