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According to my archives, tonight is the one year anniversary of the first night I ever had to sleep alone following the Breakup of Aught-Four. I’d forgotten what a newsworthy month last April was (relationships and ceilings collapsing, riots in the streets, something about a new hat)… if you have as well, I encourage you to check out that month’s archives. Fascinating reading, that. And I’m again annoyed to discover (as always) that I was funnier ~then~ than I am ~now~. It never matters when the then was or the now is (though the latter is far less (or more?) variable)… I’m invariably funnier in the past tense.

It’s amazing how many things I’ve been able to forget over the last year. I’d entirely forgotten what a Knidian Lesche was, for example. And I rarely have Monty Python stuck in my head these days (although admittedly, just a couple days ago, I thought to myself “No one is to stone anyone… until I blow this whistle!”). More interestingly, I’d forgotten that in April of 2004 I was still writing as though Megan and I had a shred of hope of staying together after what our relationship had endured. Hindsight being what it is, I can see now that our relationship had about as much chance of surviving as Frosty surviving a cruise down the river Styx. And I maintain that position today, after a year filled mainly with lonely nights and mornings and ~much~ more than my fair share of regret.

It’s been a year of transitions and learning new things. Megan and I spent too much time trying to breathe life into our dead relationship (this also qualifies as the understatement of the year), but finally broke things off entirely around June. In August, I left my friends in the Sociology department to start grad school. Grad school taught me the true meaning of the word homework (wherein home = work). Teaching first-year composition taught me my own best and worst traits.

It’s also been a year of emotional highs and lows. I’m proud of myself for being who I am today, of being able to relinquish my grip on the past enough to move on with my life. That isn’t to say it has been easy. I’ve spent more than one night in tears, wishing for what I cannot have, though the frequency of such nights has dropped with time. I’ve messed up more than one potential relationship through a nasty combination of a lack of experience, a fear of success, and a memory that kicks in at the most inopportune moments. I still can’t sleep on the other side of the bed.

Reading through my archives for last April, I was also quite surprised to realize I’ve never once explained the story behind my breakup with Megan. I guess that shouldn’t surprise me too much, considering I couldn’t even relay the particulars to my best friend until several months after the fact. Regardless, tonight isn’t the night for such stories. I’ve a 20 page paper to work on, a PowerPoint to create, and a class to plan for. It’s looking like I won’t be getting much sleep on this April 12th, either.

Happy one year antiversary, all. Thanks for sticking with me. :)