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Halloween time in a college town is kinda fun. There’s always a really eclectic mix of the costumed and the un-costumed roaming the streets, each making the other look equally out of place. It makes for a generally and continually surreal experience.

Last night, I went out to the bar with SocBuddy Nick. I’d totally forgotten that Thursday night constituted the beginning of the Halloween weekend (as far as college students are concerned) until I got out of my car and saw someone walk out of the bar across the street with a television set. Or rather, someone walked out of the bar with a ~person~ dressed as a television set. I then passed a couple of gangsters and clowns on my way down the street, and almost got set on fire by a negligent naughty police officer’s flicked cigarette.

When I got into the bar, I squeezed my way past Mario (of Super Mario Brothers fame), a guy dressed as a box of wine, that Hunter S. Thompson guy from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and the King (of Burger King fame) before I found Nick, who was dressed as Nick. I ordered a drink from a pirate while Nick pointed out a friend of his, who was dressed as a (very) naughty FBI agent. My favorite part of her costume was that her fishnet stockings had a small, worn-looking tear in them, suggesting this wasn’t the first time she’d worn them out and about. After I got my rum & coke we stood around talking for a while with some of his friends, including the lead singer of Green Day. I almost got run over by Joe Dirt chasing someone else with a mullet, and had to move out of heavyset Jesus’ way so he could get to the can.

The array of costumes was a lot of fun, even though there were some duplicates. There were two angels (one regular, one naughty), two Jesuses (one with a wig, one authentically Jesuit (and Nick suggested I was going as undercover Jesus)), two Roman soldiers, and a couple of devils — all naughty, of course. What cracked me up the most were the complementary costumes worn by people that didn’t seem to know one another. For instance, there was a Mario and a Luigi present, but I didn’t see them together until late in the evening. Throughout the evening, Frylock, Master Shake, and Meatwad of Aqua Teen: Hunger Force all showed up separately and seemed thrilled to see others of similar humors.

Isn’t it interesting how any costume can become naughty just by using less fabric and a different cut? I was amazed by the array of ‘naughty’ costumes possible. Last night, I saw a naughty angel, three naughty devils (they were a group), a naughty police officer, a naughty nun, two naughty girl scouts, three naughty nurses (all with very different costumes), a naughty FBI agent, a naughty secretary, a naughty leprechaun, a naughty pirate, two naughty schoolgirls, and a naughty WWI-era pilot. The pilot was my favorite… who woulda thunkit possible?

My favorite memories of the evening — those that made it through the six rum & cokes — include:

• Authentic-looking Jesus flirting with one of the naughty devils outside the bathrooms.
• A surreal and animated conversation between phat Jesus and the Burger King.
• Mario and a Spanish conquistador dancing an Irish jig.
• Getting hit on by an amazingly authentic Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy VII (that sword was a heavy mofo).
• Box wine throwing Burger King a pass (Burger King had a football) across the pool table.
• Phat Jesus attempting to heal a shattered beer glass. Joe Dirt cleaning up said glass with his mop.

I got home around 1:30am and headed to bed shortly thereafter, though I did catch the last couple of minutes of South Park. When I headed to the bus stop this morning to go to work, I stepped out my front door and almost tripped over a two foot-tall witch. It turns out kids can trick-or-treat their way down Main Street all day today, so I got to see a lot of very cute kids running around my neighborhood with their parents in tow. I got to the bus stop only to discover I don’t know the bus schedule as well as I thought I did, so I headed back to my apartment. I had quite a start at one point when I stopped at a crosswalk and happened to glance behind me to see a six and a half foot tall vampire clad in a leather trench coat walking a foot behind me.

Once I had the bus schedule sorted out, I headed back towards city hall, passing a burly mason biker-looking guy working on the brickwork of the building across the street. He was listening to Justin Timberlake at full volume. It doesn’t get much more surreal than that.

And for the record, if you’ve clicked the link above, yes, Cloud Strife is and was a guy. I was in a bar last night packed to the rafters with women in naughty apparel, and only got hit on by the gay guy. I’m beginning to think I’m doing something wrong.