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The Future is here, people. We’re living in it. But here’s the problem: all of those cool devices and technologies that make living in the future so awesome? Yeah. None of them are mine.

So here’s a list of present-day future technology that I don’t currently have, but desperately want:

• iPhone - Sort of an obvious one. When I think of “the Future,” I think of a palm-sized device that can keep me connected to the Internet from pretty much anywhere I want to go. If I want to talk to people, I can. If I want to type instead, I can do that too. Browse the web? Sure thing. And it could replace the camera I currently carry around everywhere, to boot.
• Chumby - I linked to this one earlier this month, but I think it deserves a second mention. Because I really want a device the size of a coffee cup that can be serve as my alarm clock, stock checker, weather watcher, and more (whatever I can think of/program) all rolled into one. It’s all about the connectivity, kids.
• iRobot Roomba - Finally, robots for your home. Roombas have been around for a couple of years now, but they’re finally getting smart enough that I could justify getting one. The newest models allow you to schedule them for a weekly routine, transition between floor types on the fly, avoid stairs on their own, and re-dock themselves automatically when their batteries are low or the job is done. I like the idea of having a vacuum that can take care of the cleaning (and terrorize the cats!) by itself while I’m at work.
• Programmable Thermostat - Seriously, why don’t I have one of these yet? I vow to get one installed before the heating season really ramps up in earnest. My house should be smart enough to only be at a specific temperature when I want it to — namely, when I’m around. My house is sufficiently well insulated that I don’t need the HVAC running between 8am and 5pm.

And here are a couple of items which should exist in the current future, and so far as I can tell could exist, but aren’t around yet for whatever reason:

• ePaper books - Alright, so ePaper has been around in some form since the seventies. Why don’t I have an ePaper book yet? Here’s what I want: a device about the size of an iPhone… possibly smaller. When I pull the two ends apart, it unrolls a screen between the two halves. One of the halves contains an SD slot for holding data and a bit of internal RAM/ROM, and the other half holds the battery. The device should read most popular eBook formats, PDFs, text and rich-text files. The UI could be extremely simple — all you really need is six buttons: up, down, left, right, enter/zoom, and exit/menu (though more would be nice if it were done well). I would buy this. Hurry up, manufacturers.
• Home Electrical Switchboards - Hardwired junction boxes and mystical breakers are SO twentieth century. Rewiring the electricity in my house should be as simple as rewiring my home network. Here’s what I want: a big switchboard sitting in my basement. The house’s power feeds into the bottom of the board. All electrical connections or junctions in the house (power outlets, switches, hardwired lights, etc) feed into the top. There are a row of “power” connections at the bottom of the board and a few dozen customizable connections at the top, each labeled with where in the house it goes (and each with an input/output socket). If I want the switch in the hallway to control the overhead light, I just run a wire from power to the switch input, then from the switch output to the overhead light input. If I decide I want the switch to control the nearby power outlet instead, it’s a simple problem of rerouting the switch output to the outlet input instead. If it needs to control both, just run a wire from the overhead light output to the switch input.

So what are your Living in the Future desires? What am I forgetting that I cannot live without?

Oh, and the ePaper idea is totally up for grabs, but if you steal my switchboard idea without giving me due credit (and money), I’ll be forced to whomp you.

Gentle readers! I know it’s been quite a while since you’ve heard from me, so I will spend a very short period of time catching you up, but then we need to get down to business, okay?

What I’ve done in the last few weeks:

I went squirrel hunting with my dad a few weeks ago… we saw four, shot three, and killed two. I also managed to get a nasty bit of poison ivy that I’m just now getting over. I took the squirrels home, cooked them, and convinced Amanda to eat them with me. A couple days later, I went on a jog with Miles, and we saw 19 squirrels in 20 minutes. From now on, I hunt in the city.

I’ve been doing a cardio class after work on Thursdays. I’m the only guy there, so I feel a little out of place, but it’s kicking my ass, so that’s gotta be good. I’ve managed to stay within a few pounds of my goal weight since going off my diet (three under my goal today), so I must be doing something acceptably well.

Work has kept me very busy, which is a large part of why I haven’t been writing here. In work-related news, I’m applying for a new position within August Home. I’m going up for an Assistant Editor position with Workbench magazine. It’d be a huge career shift, obviously, which makes me nervous. But here’s the thing: I love writing, and I love web stuff. And I can’t seem to find a job that lets me do both in balance, so I’m stuck choosing between the two. And it might just be time to make the change.

Okay! So that’s the abridged version of my month. Now on to the cool stuff (for me, at least). Amanda and I are refinishing our kitchen, starting tonight. Here’s a general outline of what we’re planning to do (in the general order we’re planning to do it):

• Replace the kitchen floor
  • Remove the vinyl floor moulding
  • Tear up the old linoleum
  • Smooth out the existing subfloor
  • Lay down new vinyl tile
• Redo the lighting on the SE end
  • Remove the (broken) ceiling fan
  • Install simple track lighting in its place
  • Rewire the light switch by the door to control the track lighting instead of the garage light
• Paint the kitchen a shade not yet entirely determined
• Refinish the cabinetry
  • Remove all doors, knobs, and hinges
  • Sand down the existing wood finish
  • Paint the cabinets and doors a shade not yet entirely determined
  • Reinstall the doors with new knobs and hinges
• Install new (wood?) floor moulding

And that’s that. The best part is, we’re going to try and have all of this done by November 10th, because we want to host a pre-Thanksgiving dinner with our friends before they scatter to the four winds for family dinners of their own. It should be an exciting next three weeks. :)